trashychintzy

Spam Sales on the Rise

monroethepilot — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 05:29:14 +0000

The main headline on the New York Times’ website right now says that Spam sales are rising. Despite being loathed, made into a Monty Python skit, and being the namesake for all your emails about Free Credit Reports and Male Enhancement, everyone’s favorite packaged meat is doing quite well.

Conventional wisdom suggests that the recent economic downturn is in part responsible for Hormel’s gain. I just hope that artificial crab and canned corned beef won’t get so popular that I stop being individual in my processed protein choices. I need something to impress young gentlemen with my “cooking.” Easy and economical! I can sew too. This is beside the point. All in all: America will be ok! We’re an amazing people! When times get hard, we’ll even eat spam. And let’s be honest, it’s better than canned possum, which I know for a fact has been eaten. But then, in the Depression, I’d eaten it and been glad to have it, too.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/15/business/15spam.html?_r=1&hp=&adxnnl=1&oref=slogin&adxnnlx=1226726163-62+6A0Ucn79NxzXs3ZE7fA

A television show for our time.

GKelly — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 20:49:16 +0000

ABC’s Life on Mars is a show about a detective from the 2008 NYPD who is hit by a car and, upon coming to, finds that he is in 1973. It had the good fortune to debut at a time when most Americans feel like they have been hit by a car and, upon coming to, found that they are in 1973.

The show stars the strapping (and wonderfully Gaelically-named) Jason O’Mara as detective Sam Tyler. The 125th precinct’s class of 1973 includes Gretchen Mol, Harvey Keitel, and, best of all, Michael Imperioli (or Christophah, if you watched The Sopranos) in the most incredibly awful retro-stache of all time. Really, it defies belief. That hair a thing of terrible and fierce beauty.

Tyler runs around 1973 New York City and struggles to figure out whether he is dead, crazy, or really in 1973. Gretchen Mol is concerned; Michael Imperioli wants him to go back to wherever he came from, and Harvey Keitel does not give a fuck. That, in a polyester-clad nutshell, Life on Mars.

The show is a remake of a BBC series with exactly the same premise, but in, uh, England. In the way of British shows, though, the original Life on Mars ran for only a season, its storyline completely contained in those original episodes. The US version has to translate the concept into something that can last several years, which means that at any moment it could run off the rails and explode, killing everyone on board. Kind of like watching CNBC! Only instead of your money and your life at stake, it’s your time and emotional involvement.

But, based on the three episodes I’ve seen so far, Life on Mars deserves a chance. Episode 4 premieres tonight at 10. You’ve got just enough time to get caught up, and the previous episodes are on ABC’s website, and really, what are you doing right now? Checking your 401(k)? Reading HuffPo?

Just watch the damn show. You can thank me later.

Oh, and:

From the I’m-gonna-get-me-a-husband Department:

GKelly — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 17:59:09 +0000

Time tries to cheer us up about the fact that already-crappy marriages (read: a lot of them) are going to collapse from the added pressure of not having any money:

There is some good news. A study that correlated Playboy centerfolds with market conditions found that men like fuller-figured women more in lean times than in boom times. The APA study showed that when stressed, women liked to eat. Bingo!

Ha-HAA!

Meth: Apparently, it’s the cocaine of the recession!

GKelly — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 17:54:24 +0000

Via Gawker, this fresh hell:

Authorities say the skyrocketing price of cocaine is prompting drug dealers in New York to push crystal meth as a replacement.

Finally, a way to unite real America and fake America: methamphetamine and rotten teeth! Just what this city needed: more geeked-up club-goers.

What a twist!

monroethepilot — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 02:54:07 +0000

So not only is Chinese Democracy finally being released (bout damn time, Axl Rose), but Dr Pepper has pledged to give a free beverage to everyone in the country if the album does, in fact, drop sometime in 2008. Well, the release date has been set and I want a Dr Pepper and relief from waiting the entire length of my life for an album.

This is not breaking news, but exciting nonetheless. Free soft drinks! And I heard a rumor about free tacos as well. Damn I love Guns n’ Roses. Saving the economy.

Details are at Pitchfork (and other places, but I’m too baller for real, non-authentic/alt news).

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/news/49539-ichinese-democracyi-in-2008-free-dr-pepper-for-all

Free things.

monroethepilot — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 05:59:20 +0000

Not that I’m giving away. I’m just telling you where to find them. This is an attempt at a new segment, in which I drop the pearls of wisdom and frugality that allow me to the live the life of culture and excitement that I live. By this I mean websites where I find music. At least to begin with. Because lord knows CDs are pricey, and I don’t want to get h4x0rd by the Man and have get spyware out of my mainframe or whatever because I was stealing from my favorite artists. That wasn’t hating, pirates, it was just being creative. I love the Information Age.

Starting off with The Hype Machine. What’s great about the Hype Machine is that it actually does function as a hype-builder. Tons of streaming, mp3s, links, and such to new music, old music, unknown things to impress your snooty friends with. You name it. The one time I’ve been disappointed was about the lack of Atlas Strategic. But I cannot complain. Check it out here:

http://hypem.com/

Hype it up at bargain basement prices.

Gramaphone time, children

monroethepilot — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 05:44:35 +0000

A new song for financial and social hardship. This time it is a man who knows hard times. Who knows what it is to live on the edge. To be broken and build himself up again. Who? Steve Earle? Springsteen? Muddy Waters?

No. The incomparably awesome Ryan Adams.

The message is simple. Chin up, cheer up. Your landlord sucks. You know, whatever. Chin up. Walks and stuff. Can’t bring you down!

Also, for an interesting psychological study, check out Ryan and the Cardinals’ tumblr. I do more or less daily.

http://cave.cardinology.com/

Chin up, Ryan. Cheer up.

Recession Recipes: Snack Attack Edition

GKelly — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 03:17:27 +0000

This week, we have a trick I learned from my mother at an early age: peanut butter with saltines.

Step one: take 1 saltine cracker.

Step 2: spread peanut butter on said cracker.

Step 3: place a second cracker on top of the peanut butter.

Step 4: consume.

Like a Nutter Butter or an Oreo, but the budget edition!

Today in For Whom the Bell Tolls

GKelly — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 15:21:29 +0000

Dutton Adult, publishers of Atlas Shrugged, and the Ayn Rand Institute.

Why does the bell toll for thee? This is why:

“Those of us who have looked to the self-interest of lending institutions to protect shareholder’s equity (myself especially) are in a state of shocked disbelief.” He conceded that he has “found a flaw” in his ideology and said he was “distressed by that.”

Chin up, guys. It’s still a fabulous pulp novel, and Dagney Taggert is still something of a proto-feminist icon. Maybe you can rebrand AS as part of a series and sell it with The Bell Jar.

We’re shocked, shocked! To find GAMBLING in this establishment.

GKelly — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 15:14:05 +0000

And so is Crazy Al: “Greenspan ‘shocked’ to find flaw in ideology, “ Wall Street Journal